is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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