I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
