Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
