so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
so that wasnt chicken after all
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
