Swine flu. Run for my life!
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
