I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
NoShamevember. You game?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
