Dual....:-)
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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