Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
