if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
