I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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