just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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