will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
