I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
