I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
