when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
