I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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