When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I have fence marks all over my body
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
