he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
