apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
