I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
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