He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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