just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
