too bad you live with your parents still
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
