she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
