i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
