he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
