As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
