I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
