Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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