Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
