My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
