Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
