this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
