i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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