I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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