well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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