I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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