So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
