I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
