Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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