I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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