i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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