Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
