When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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