Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Randomize
