Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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