i barfeds in our rink
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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