Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I want her autograph on my taint
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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