before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
