You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
