Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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