my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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