what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
