The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm getting married
To pizza
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
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