I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
