i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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