Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
