Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
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