Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?

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(201): View more from New Jersey

You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.

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(212): View more from New York

Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.

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(253): View more from Washington

I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.

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(206): View more from Washington

Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"

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(985): View more from Louisiana

Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.

(504): View more from Louisiana

That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.

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(248): View more from Michigan

His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk

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(970): View more from Colorado

It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.

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