You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Randomize
