dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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