Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
