i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
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