from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
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