dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
false alarm, still single
Randomize
