My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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