I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
