I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
These tits shall not be calmed
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
