Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
