He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize